A full therapeutic disclosure is an opportunity for couples to move towards healing from sexual betrayal and moving towards recovery and healing.
Foundational Healing
When a client or couple, presents for therapy with infidelity or sexual betrayal, the first step therapists often take is to help clients work on building trust. However, couples cannot work towards rebuilding trust when there isn’t first a foundation of honesty. The betrayed partner needs to know what they are saying yes to, if they are choosing to say yes to the relationship. That is exactly what the full therapeutic disclosure provides is an opportunity to present information honestly to the betrayed partner.
Get out of the cycle
Often there are many mini-discoveries, or mini-disclosures. During that time, information is presented as being complete, but it’s also being presented out of distress. Both betrayed partner distress, as well as the distress of the acting out partner. The acting out partner knows that if a shade of the truth is presented, and presented as if it is the truth in its entirety, then the betrayed partner might let up, let go, and move on. In the betrayed partner’s distress, the betrayed partner will do all the things the they know to do to get the acting out partner to understand the extent of the distress, and so the acting out partner will give a morsel of the truth. And when it’s presented, it is traumatic, and upsetting, and encompassed within an unsafe environment. Then, a few days, or weeks, or sometimes months go by, and the betrayed partner finds out more information. Which starts the cycle all over again, only this time the distress is even more intense, because there is an additional layer of the betrayed partner feeling lied to once again, as last time the truth was presented as if it was the truth in its entirety. When, unfortunately, it wasn’t.
Information Giving and Receiving
A full therapeutic disclosure seeks to end that cycle. During the full therapeutic disclosure, both the acting out partner and the betrayed partner are doing intense work to prepare for the full therapeutic disclosure. During that time, the acting out partner is working to remember as many details as possible, through the use of resources, as well as working towards building relationship accountability post betrayal. Meanwhile, the betrayed partner is working on practicing coping skills and self-care, while also identifying needed boundaries. The betrayed partner is also deciding what information they want to receive, and in what format. This includes the level of detail, the who, what, where, when, and how. The betrayed partner creates, in essence, a menu of information that is being requested, as well as any additional information. The acting out partner then puts this information in the format requested by the partner.
Building a foundation of truth
A full therapeutic disclosure is preceded by a polygraph. Due to the history and extent of lying, the goal is that this is an opportunity for the acting out partner to be honest with the betrayed partner. However, the majority of the time, the betrayed partner is unable to accept just the word of the acting out partner. As a result, a polygraph provides an outside source of checks and balances to ensure the information being provided is as accurate as possible.
This is a powerful tool the acting out partner can give to their betrayed partner to move towards healing, recovery and posttraumatic growth.
Even If Mental Health Counseling 